In this backdrop, we were motivated to go online and form an online network and discussion forum. Carried away by the response we built outside the internet, we invited a lot of people into the online forum. Overwhelmed by the concern that in an online forum, people dont reveal their identity and the discussions are not moderated, we tried regulating the content, the profiles, etc. This led to a of complexities with animosities all over. Moreover, online the people participating in discussions were very less because the topics were very non populist. Hence, we were persuaded to open up the group more to bring in all kinds of topics. We then opened the discussions to popular topics as well. Now when I think in retrospect, I feel it was not a wise thing to have done because it was very contradictory to our core idea itself! We wanted to develop self thinking of simple non popular topics and we were carried away by the "acceptance" of the group and mend everything about the group and landed up unclear about anything!
The Sunday beach meets were going on pretty decent enough. It was when the online forum went inactive that we decided that we needed something else to create an "impact". Then came the Unconference idea from Prashanth. We decided on doing an unconference on the topic 'Chennai'. This decision of ours was also because of the push from outside and within that we needed to "DO" something. We partnered with the
It was during this period that we had to take several criticisms about the name (as it was dominative in nature), about the discussions (boring), online forum (poorly managed, censored too much and authoritative), motive (being selfish for network building and not societal change) and what not?! The most significant of the criticisms then that really concerned me was that the group had no one to carry it forward, if I was not there. This was because I had to go to my hometown for my exams for three months or so and I would be totally disconnected with the group. The fear came true.
Those three months of exams and for a long period after that (almost a year), nothing had taken place. The online forum was inactive, people somehow lacked the drive and it was like they were all "waiting for me to come back". It was then that I realized the biggest mistake I had done. I did not build a team. For a totally random idea like mine, I needed to have grown the group organically. We built numbers but we lacked in commitment. I would not be exaggerating if I were to say that I felt that the whole idea was in the verge of dying. I found that people even forgot that a group like ours existed.
This phase, I would call, the "time out" phase. It was in this phase that I had to do a lot more introspection and actually identify the flaws. During this phase, the best thing that happened to me was poetry. Since I was going through some tough times, I had taken to poetry as a vent to my emotions and thoughts. I used to write incessantly, but after each poem I write, I would have analysed myself more, I would have expressed my perceptions and when I look at them again, I would have realised how my ideas have changed. This was the awakening, I must say.
I realised the golden truth from that particular experience and also experiences from the past that to change oneself, you never need numbers, even one person - yourself is enough. This removed my misconception of gathering numbers for the group. Also, I realised that we are all too caught up with this "Social Change" too much. The reality is that change is inevitable and it will eventually happen. We can contribute but we cannot change everything. It was when I analysed myself I realised that though academically and economically I was well-off, there was a lot more to my character that I needed to develop. This was the most important over anything else, because society is but a collection of individuals interacting with each other and that individual change has to assume paramount importance. This character building need not be institutionalized. For adults like me, all that it is needed is serious thought and attitude. Also, to create a change within ourself, we have to read more, listen more and what not! While we can read a lot of things from the public domain there is always a huge part of the knowledge of the world that is locked up as experiences and inert opinions not expressed.
For bringing out those experiences, we cannot do so by institutionalizing anything. The way to do it would be to be informal, to personalize and to ensure that members of the group are with the attitude to introspect. I then called the regular attendees of the meets, they were only a hand ful, out of the hundred or so members that were "online", only handful I realised were actually interested in committing to the idea of the group. I decided to restart again, this time with more clarity than ever.
The group need not grow to great places, but needs to stand for what it believes no matter the success or failure. Till now, I must confess I used a lot of words like "I did" or "I decided" or "My group". I realised that for the group to stand strong, the roles and responsibilities need to be shared, a feeling of oneness was essential. The regulars and interested were only 5 at the end but we built it among ourselves. We began meeting regularly, though small in number, yet the discussions were lively and introspective. We decided to videograph them and air them in the internet for all to benefit. We are reduced to a small number now, but strong in belief and conviction and that gives us enormous confidence now.
The group is no longer "Society for Intellectual Thinking" but just a simple idea sharing group called "Sit", seated at the beach on every Sunday. It is not a "Societal Change" initiative, but a self introspective group focusing on the "Power of One". It is a book club of not books but experiences - it is a library of perspectives. It focuses on the individual, the most relevant of all change. It is informal, a group with no structure, not registered - it's completely personal.
You want to create social change? Well, create more groups like these among your friends. We are no patent right holders. This is a small initiative - simple and powerful.
As I said in the beginning about entrepreneurship, this particular journey of mine has taken several experiments, hits, turns and what not! Entrepreneurship cannot be restricted to a business or an NGO - this initiative is neither an NGO or a business, yet it had to go through a lot of ups and downs too! Hence, it would not be wise to structure entrepreneurship too much and place us into a myopic spectrum.
Sit may not be out of the box but is certainly not "out of the box within the box". A random simple group also requires entrepreneurship and unless we open ourselves to these things, we will land up doing nothing and constantly worry about "social change" and "action" without changing ourselves.
Yours,
Srinath Varadarajan
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